Steph M. is a junior from Long Island. Erin B. is a senior from New Jersey. We are partners in our teaching methods. We decided to demonstrate the recipe assignment because it looked like so much fun. The recipe (the parts in parenthesis) and the instructions actually do make a soup that is popular around Halloween. Give it a try and enjoy!!

*1/4 CUP PIG LARD (BUTTER OR MARGARINE)
*1/4 CUP DANDRUFF (ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR)
*1 TEASPOON GROUND TOENAILS (SALT)
*1/2 TO 1 TEASPOON COARSELY GROUND MUSTACHE SHAVINGS (GROUND BLACK PEPPER)
*5 CUPS BABY THROW UP (MILK)
*1 CAN (46 OUNCES) BLOOD (V8 JUICE OR 4 CANS [11-1/2 OUNCES EACH] PICANTE V8 JUICE)
*1 CUP FRESHLY PLUCKED EYEBALLS (FROZEN PEARL OR SMALL WHOLE ONIONS, THAWED)

IN AN OBESE CAULDRON, MELT PIG LARD, YOU IDIOT. STIR IN THE DANDRUFF, GROUND TOENAILS AND MUSTACHE SHAVINGS UNTIL IT TURNS TO MUSH. YOU MAY WHISK IN BABY THROW UP AT A SPEED SLOW ENOUGH FOR YOUR MEASLY BRAIN TO HANDLE. BRING TO A BARBARIC BOIL; COOK AND WORK YOUR FLABBY ARMS BY STIRRING FOR 1 TO 2 MINUTES OR UNTIL THICKENED LIKE YOUR MEATY HEAD. IN ANOTHER CAULDRON, BRING THE BLOOD TO A SWAMPY BOIL. REDUCE HEAT; DREADFULLY WHISK IN THE PASTE THAT YOU WOULD NOT DARE FEED YOUR WORST ENEMY! ADD FRESHLY PLUCKED EYEBALLS; HEAT THROUGH ‘TIL DISGUSTINGLY BOOGERISH. THIS WILL POISON ABOUT 10 THEATRE TYRANTS.

An Acrostic Poems:

Jovial woman

Understanding neighbor

Selfless for the orphans’ sake

Tidiest housekeeper around

Intelligent Judge

Cheerful lady

Excited about reading

Oggling eyes all over the house

Lost his temper over Puttanesca sauce

After the Baudelaire fortune

Fixed the play to trick Violet into marriage